The new '18 Expy and "should be soon" new Tahoe/Suby will all have the jointly designed 10 speed transmission (of course with different programming). Once both companies release their full size SUV with the 10 speed, the head-to-head comparisons will be much more applies-to-apples. IMHO, I don't equate the 6.2 and 3.5tt as competing (but we can discuss the dream of the 5.0tt!). I see the 6.2 as a hot rod, niche market engine, but the 5.3 as the meant for nearly everybody engine, like the 3.5tt. But, there is so much more to a vehicle (SUV or otherwise) than just the engine. Buy what you like and fits your wants and needs.
Regarding the towing, you need the 3.73 rear end to tow ~9,000 lbs. The standard 3.31 only tows ~6,000. Yes, get the HD towing on both rear ends to get those towing numbers.
I never drove the 5.4, nor the Tahoe. I love the 3.5tt and Expy. I just didn't like the front end or the wheel wells of the Tahoe. I also didn't like the add'l 10k on the Tahoe I was finding in my research.
I moved up from a 2011 Kia Sorrento. So, nearly anything would be a huge improvement.