My 2000 Eddie Bauer does this too. It really sucks. I bought mine with 140,000 miles on it and it did it maybe 1 time out of 20 shifts only while going slow.
I nearly have 170,000 miles on it now and its 9 times out of 10. If I accelerate hard it will shift so hard the serpantine belt will squeak.
If I`m towing 4000 lbs or more it will shift awesome, hard or slow acceleration.
I`ve got to the point, in rush hour traffic or slow driving around down I`ll manual shift from 1-2 so it does not bang into 2nd.
I've got so use to it now that mentally I know when its going to do it and I let off the accelerator to allow it to hit 2nd a little softer, I cant imagine that the hard shift is good for the drive train.
If anyone has Ideas I`m open for suggestions.
I've had the filter/fluid changed, tried Lucas hard shift stopper, marvel and countless other things.
No Codes either.