I THINK I may have finally turned the corner. I went home early again yesterday and fell asleep...for 30 minutes but w/o drugs.
Last night I refused to take the Vistaril because I was still foggy from the night before and I think I may have gotten 4-5 hours of sleep. Regular sleep...wow!
My entire team noticed when I came in today, commenting that I have a lot more color....so hopefully, this is the end of this. What a friggin nightmare.
What have I learned?
1. That cognitive thought is the first casualty of sleeplessness.
2. That "connecting the dots" to form decisions based on dynamic inputs is nearly impossible so BE CAREFUL!
3. Don't be afraid to admit to being "compromised". I work for a mid-sized Mech Contr and as the chief estimator, I make bid decisions and final $$ decisions....we don't have ego's here so letting my team that works directly for me, double-check MY work was prob one of the smartest decisions I made because one misplaced digit could and likely would, cause serious harm either financially or reputation wise if we felt compelled to "pull a bid" because of an error that I made.
I only posted this issue because it blindsided me. Maybe somehow some of this will be of help to someone else.
jeff