Suspension is all subjective, what you are used to, and what expectations are. Are you used to American cars, and especially older cars from the 80's & 90's, where they wallowed over bumps and turns, this is definitely harder. If you have always been used to cars like our European counterparts (Audi, BMW, MB, etc.), then they rode a great deal firmer and will feel closer to the Bilsteins (they are German...)
IMO I think the Bilsteins ride great. Yes, they are firmer and more controlled than the OEM by far, but not how some claim they experience it to be harsh. I think it makes my Expedition with the lift and 35's very composed on the road. Another option out there and they seem to be out of stock more than not, are the Eibachs. These are supposed to be really good compared to the 5100's and ride a bit nicer - supposedly a middle ground between Bilstein and Fox.
I will also believe that on occasion a shock or set may just not ride right depending on how they were built. I once went with a rather premium suspension on a previous offroad ride and everyone swore they were like riding on pillows in the cloud. To me, they rode like a unloaded dump truck, noisy, and stiff AF, plus they were cut to length wrong as my down travel was too much and caused CV bind. Not sure who they were building them for, but they were completely out of spec. I guess it happens.