There is no blue wire in the 4-pole connector (Typo in your message?). It's the major wire lacking to fit a 7-pole connector but it might be back there, pays to look or search notes here. Look back there for a blue wire blunt dipped and wrapped inside one of the rear panels by the tail lights.
I prefer a hardwired connector rather than one that plugs into the existing 4-pole connector. Connectors are the weak point in any electrical system.
The 3 "extra" wires in the 7 pole connector are the blue trailer brake wire, a black wire for trailer battery charge (plus 12vDC), and the yellow trailer back-up lights (center pole of the Bargman). Only the blue wire is needed to get the brakes hooked up. None, some, or all these may be back there hiding. I'm guessing 'cuz all my Ford SUVs have had HD Tow and full wired.
-- Chuck