Good news/bad news situation on this:
* The connector is on the back of the housing, and you can't get to it from the top (removing the plastic panel along the front of the engine bay) or bottom (through the wheel well) without tiny hands - it's below the turn/drl bulb. The left/drivers side looks like it might be easier, as it doesn't have the washer bottle in the way.
* Good news, you can chase the wire (4 wires wrapped in cloth tape) down, through the wheel where it merges with the turn/DRL wire and connector. It's attached to a couple of tie wrap brackets which you can remove with pliers to get access to the loom.
* Tearing into the cloth tape, you can expose the 4 wires: on the right side of the vehicle, Violet/Orange is the high beam.
* I tested the relay/switch connected to the battery to ensure that the spot lights I added work OK. All is as expected.
* Tapped into the violet/orange wire to test the high beam functionality: it is, indeed, the correct wire. However, the relay buzzes like a hornets nest, and the spot lights have a slight flicker.
* replaced the relay with another one and same situation. This is likely due to the solid state switching supply from the BCM causing the relay to chatter. It needs an 'anti flicker' device going to the relay is my best guess (or a 12V solid state relay, but they don't seem to make a 'plug in' one of those for auto use).
Summary: works, but needs some extra TLC based on what is attached to the high beam wire.