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I should have updated this thread once I solved the issue. This is torque converter shudder. Who knows the real reason why but there are a couple of fixes. First, buy some Dr. Tranny Instant Shudder Fix. If this is the issue, the shudder will go away with in just a couple of miles driving once this added to the transmission. Remember, this is a sealed tranny....there is no dipstick in the engine compartment. There is a service port on the passenger side at the front of the tranny. The bolt is 19mm. I used one tube, wished I had used two!
Next thing is servicing the transmission. Probably a flush and fill with the proper fluid, which I think is Mercon V. I haven't gotten to this part yet...still wanting to see how long the Dr Tranny holds.
I appreciate your feedback!I gotta say that I tend to agree with some of what they have told you. It's a very sophisticated electronically controlled transmission. If I had those symptoms, I would first do a complete flush and filter replacement, and see if that fixes the issue. I would only consider adding an additive as a last resort prior to tranny rebuild. This is only my opinion, and others may think differently. As to the other points you noted, you can certainly crawl under there and add this stuff while it's cold. I suspect the main reason a shop won't add this for you is liability.
Good luck!