I have a 20 MAX FX4 and I am in exactly the same situation as 20Expy. Mine is seemingly random. I can't repeat a harsh shift on a bet. I have 45,000 miles on it and I know i've driven 5000+ at a time without a harsh shift. But, when it does it, I always look in the rearview mirror to see if there are any parts on the pavement, it's that jarring. Because of the long stretches in between, I wonder if part of it is relearning after a big voltage drop on the battery, simulating a disconnect, since mine goes through driving cycles that take the battery down.
My trepidation relative to giving the keys to a dealer borders on clinical paranoia due to previous experiences. In my mind, I literally balance paying for a new transmission at my own expense, installed by me, vs. trying to engage a dealer in a rational conversation about harsh shifting with no codes that can't be reproduced. In 45,000 miles, I've probably experienced 20 or 30 harsh shifts. Always at tip in, moderate speed, mid gears. I've owned more than 70 new vehicles with automatics in 45 years and this one is the worst.
On the other end of the spectrum, I have a '22 F150 FX4 PowerBoost Hybrid with a 10 speed. Best, smoothest, most positive shifting transmission I've driven, ever. With few exceptions I have to watch the tach and the gear indicator to know when it shifts under any condition.
I have a few more months to decide.